It’s been raining for about 24-hours straight and I suddenly feel like I’m back in Seattle on some lazy morning when Alex and I would go out for breakfast and noodle around the Market or go to a movie. Ah, all the movies….
I started craving Greg Brown’s song All Day Rain. Greg actually lives a few blocks over, and I’ve been listening to his music most of my life, but it meant the most to me when I was in Seattle and his songs about thunderstorms and little Iowa towns brought me home. They made me ache. We played his song “This Band of Gold” at our wedding and bought most of his CDs together.
Alex put all of the music he wanted on his iPod before he took off. “You can have the CDs,” he told me. I have no idea if he copied any of the Greg Brown. But now I have the words and the memories. I love this music. I don’t want to get rid of it, but god, it makes my heart ache with a melancholy for what was and a longing … to be held, to be cared about, to not be alone.
I’m cleaning my kitchen pantry as I listen. The flour moths have returned with a vengeance and I decided to be proactive. There’s laundry going in both machines, and muffins in the oven. But my heart is full of rain.
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March 9, 2009 at 1:24 am
nyjlm
(((hugs))). We had some family favorites that felt sullied to me after my parents split up. I just realized that my parents have been divorced longer than they were married….sometimes I still feel that twinge when I hear a song that we used to blast while cleaning the apartment together as a family.
I hope that someday you can listen to the music with only the occasional twinge.
March 9, 2009 at 1:35 pm
beth
I got all the music. He never cared much. There is one song, sung at our wedding, that used to tear me up….but not so much any more. The music is my history.
I didn’t know Greg Brown – thanks for the push in that direction. I’ve made myself a Greg Brown station on Pandora and I’m going to dig in while I get the laundry done…or at least started….(it’s a gorgeous day and I’m really NOT wanting to stay in the house….)