The papers came from the lawyer yesterday that will eventually be served to Alex. I felt like I was standing under a giant magnifying glass as I held the crisp white papers with their legal formatting and jargon. PETITION FOR DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE. I was looking at them with my mom because I’d been too afraid to open the lawyer’s packet on my own. “Wow,” she said, uncharacteristically quiet. “It’s really going to happen.” “Not fast enough,” I said. Definitely not fast enough.
Lower down, under point 4, it states, “The minor children whose welfare will be affected by this dissolution of marriage are…” Why doesn’t anyone ever come to you and say, “The minor children who will be affected by their dad leaving the country for 7 months… or affected by their dad making little to no money… or affected by their dad being addicted to credit cards… or affected by their dad’s inability to tell the truth on a regular basis”? But no legal document ever appeared regarding those things.
Later on, under point 8: …”the legitimate objects of matrimony have been destroyed…” What is that? Trust? Love? And destroyed – such a strong word. Wrecking balls through concrete walls. Marriage comes apart so much more quietly for many people, brick by brick. It’s less a destruction than a melting away. Later in the document, I, the Petitioner “pray” to the Court to “grant any other relief.” Relief. Prayers. Cold water on a bad burn. Salve. A cloth against a heated face, streaked with tears. Would but a Court could relieve the destruction herein.
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March 25, 2009 at 5:14 pm
Michele B
I clearly remember getting that document and feeling a lot of those feelings. What got to me was the phrase about the breakdown of the “bonds” of marriage as well as the phrase about there being “no reasonable likelihood of reconciliation.” There really was part of me that thought perhaps there would be some miracle of god that would cause him to wake up and say “no” let’s work this out! or SOMETHING to stop the speeding train of divorce that I didn’t want but that was clearly inevitable. It’s hard to reconcile the cold, detached legal process with the end of the relationship of marriage.