Last night found Alex asleep in the guest room and me, just one room away, sitting on the sofa crying. It suddenly felt so familiar – how many other nights there were like that between us. Me trying to talk things out. Him trying his best, but ultimately going to bed or shutting down. I cry so little lately that I suprised myself last night – surprised that such sadness was still there, right where it had been before he left town - the sadness at all that we haven’t been able to manage to do together, at the steps we seem unable to make in order to heal.
As the song says, I think I’ll always be crying over Alex to some extent. Crying for what we weren’t able to do.

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July 13, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Michele B
I’m sorry to hear that. As they say grief is not a linear process. The sadness comes and goes– sometimes when you don’t expect it. I hope the kids at least had a happy reunion with their dad.
July 14, 2009 at 5:20 am
married, yet so alone
Your relationship is not unlike mine with my husband. Oh the nights I’ve spent sobbing, in pain by myself…too many over the years. Even if he was sitting next to me I was the only one present and engaged in the moment. He leaves me to do all the hard stuff….the real work of marriage (of LIFE!) alone, by myself and it can’t be done.
Just know that you are better off not having to carry it all for the both of you day after day. The frustration and angst may erupt from time to time but that will prove to be far more manageable and you will become healthfully detached at some point.